Mystery Illness

This is not my first run dealing with a mystery illness. It took years to be diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. I had mild issues while working at the non-profit farm sanctuary. The doctors in that small town told me my loose stool was from the lack if a gallbladder or my cholesterol being too low. The advice was to eat eggs.

After The Creature was born my body went haywire. I had lumps and sores on my legs. My entire mouth was covered in canker sores including the roof and uvula, whoch made eating nearly impossible. It took a Facebook friend, who happened to be a doctor and was a former member of the board of the farm, to help me. But that is a story for another day… perhaps with the photos of what my husband called the zombie leg.

My insight into my new mystery illness came to me from the news app on my phone. The headline was about a teenager who died from complications from this thing called Cannabinoid Hyperemesis Syndrome (CHS). The theory of CHS is there is a toxic build up of THC in the body that gets stored in the fat cells. More research needs to be done on this horrific condition.

I will hesitantly admit I used cannabis in high school and on off in my twenties. After being diagnosed with Crohn’s I got a medical card. For me it seemed to improve my bowel movements and seemed to make me feel like more myself. I never used during any of my pregnancies and would never drive while high.

After my second daughter was born I held off using for a few months. Until postpartum depression hit hard. When I was high I got energy. My house was more often than not clean. I would play with my children and I was functioning human.

That was until it turned on me. Towards the end of my relationship with cannabis I was using multiple times a day. Becoming more isolated and felt even more alone. Every morning for over four months my stomach was in pain. The only thing that seemed to help was using.

The day I read that article all the symptoms I was suffering from echoed back to me. For me it was the bouts of vomiting that led to the ER. Losing weight drastically from not being able to eat for weeks. The pain in my stomach. This poor young man lost his life due to getting so dehydrated his body shut down.

To test if CHS was my culprit I stopped using. The first day of not using I woke up with no stomach pain. After months of pain that would leave me in tears – it was gone.

Today I am thirty days sober. During those days I experienced a relapse at two weeks and had to restart the clock. I had to go through hell detoxing my body. I was left feeling hot and cold. Sweaty for no reason drenching my clothing. The mood swings left me wanting to rip myself out of my body. Literally tear my flesh off and be done with this fucken life. Other times I stoped using cannabis I never experienced this monster before.

As I sit here I am not completely recovered. From the gathered experience from a facebook support page it can take up to ninety days to feel normal again. I still experience waves of massive mood swings. My appetite still is not quite right. But I am trying my best every day to remain sober for myself and my family. As the culture shifts with CBD and cannabis we need to be aware there is a darker side for some people. I am seeking help from a therapist- this is my act of bravery. I am grateful I no longer have stomach pain and am on the path to living a healthy life.