As 2019 falls away and the decade closes out I look ahead at a new chapter.
A chapter in which, I continue to try my damnedest to quiet the inner self-hate critic. Ash-hole as I so loving refer to her now has been a deep rooted companion. She has led me to miss out on some beautiful moments in life. She has led me astray for far too long. She keeps me in a fog of depression and anxiety – riddling me with fear, disappointment, longing, and wanting out of this life.
My life is a beautiful chaotic mess that one day I will miss. I am sleep deprived. But how lucky I am to have a healthy toddler! How much richer my life is with my two little monsters.
I hope this new year and decade will bring calmness in my heart and mind. I want to see myself as the wonderful sparkly human my husband and children see me as.
As we close out this year I tried out a new little ritual. I put on paper things I want to release and set them on fire. Along side that I drew a tarot card to see what the new year had to offer. Pulling the world card couldn’t be more fitting. Tarot is something I hope to study more of in the new year.
Ashley Curtis Frink 